Why Your Band’s Attitude Matters More Than Your Talent
After 30 years (or more) of performing, booking shows, and working with hundreds of bands, I’ve learned something: talent doesn’t guarantee success in your music scene or life in general. The difference between bands and people that thrive and those that stagnate or fade away usually comes down to some simple, controllable things. In this article, we’re going to dive into “attitude”. I’ll admit, it took me a LONG time to truly figure this stuff out and I’m still recovering from past mistakes in my own attitude. And that’s why I write these articles, to hopefully prevent others from having to figure it out before it’s too late and nobody wants to book you or your band.
The Tale of Two Mindsets
Walk into any local venue during open mic night and you’ll spot them immediately – two distinct species of musician roaming their natural habitat.
The Victim: Masters of Their Own Misery
These are the folks who’ve turned complaining into an art form. The venue only books “their friends” (which raises the question: maybe make some friends?). Nobody comes to shows anymore because people “just don’t appreciate real music.” The sound guy is always terrible. “I’m better than those people on stage”.
You’ll find them on Facebook, typing furious manifestos about how they were done wrong or posting ridiculous life-changing meme quotes which only further their victim status. You might even see them talk about other bands or venues. It’s like watching someone burn bridges they haven’t even built yet – impressive in its own tragic way.
Here’s the kicker: some of these Victims are genuinely talented. They could shred, they could sing, they could write songs and do just about anything, other than make people want to be around them. But their toxic attitude spreads faster than gossip at a high school reunion. Band members flee like rats from a sinking ship once they experience the negativity.
I once watched a band completely obliterate their reputation by going nuclear on social media over a booking mixup. Instead of handling it privately, they tagged half the scene in a public meltdown. By tagging the other bands and the other victim bands commenting, well, it made it an easy filter for venues to spot who not to book.
The Victor: Local Scene Superheroes
Then we have the Victors – bands or musicians who understand the local music scene isn’t some mysterious force working against them; it’s a community they’re part of. When they don’t get the prime Saturday night slot, they show up anyway to cheer on whoever did. When only five people show up to their gig, they play like they’re headlining Coachella.
The funny thing about Victors? They’re not necessarily the most technically gifted musicians in town. But they’re the ones everyone wants to hang out with, the ones venue owners actually answer when they call, and the ones other bands actively want to play shows with. They’ve figured out the music industry’s best-kept secret: it’s actually a people industry. Perhaps this is why victims become so bitter when “lesser” bands seem to get all the good gigs?
Why Relationships Rule (And How to Build Them)
“It’s all about who you know!” cry the Victims, and honestly? They’re not entirely wrong. But here’s what they’re missing: those relationships aren’t built on secret handshakes or mysterious insider knowledge. They’re built on positive energy and becoming someone reliable and trustworthy. They are built from showing up and wanting to be a part.
Local music scenes are basically small towns where everyone knows everyone’s business. When you’re genuinely supportive of other bands, when you help load gear without being asked, when you share other people’s shows on social media – that stuff gets noticed. It’s not networking; it’s just being a decent human being that wants something bigger for everyone.
Victor-minded bands create opportunities because they invest in other people’s success. They’re the ones celebrating when their “competition” gets a great gig, because they understand something crucial: a rising tide lifts all boats.
The Small Gig Superpower
Victims treat opening slots or small shows like personal attacks on their artistic integrity. They’ll scoff about sharing a bill with “lesser” bands. In their minds, they’re saving their energy for when a “real” opportunity comes along.
Victors flip the script entirely. They turn that tiny gig set into an intimate masterpiece that has people Googling their name before they’ve even finished their last song. Every gig becomes their audition for the next one.
Here’s the beautiful irony: while Victims are waiting for their big break, Victors are busy creating theirs. I’ve seen bands transform from “who?” to “when can we book them?” in a single well-executed “throwaway” gig, simply because they treated it like the most important show of their career. Victim bands are usually too good to even put effort into performing or entertaining because hey, “they are getting paid regardless”.
How to Escape Victim Mode
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Uh oh, some of this sounds familiar,” don’t panic. Victim mentality is curable. My victim mentality is almost fully cured and only took a decade or two. LOL.
Become a Local Music Evangelist: Start championing other bands and supporting the venues like you’re their biggest fan. Show up. This isn’t sucking up – it’s building genuine community.
Make Every Show Your Comeback Tour: Whether you’re playing to five people or five hundred, bring the same energy. Your reputation isn’t built on your best night; it’s built on your worst night when you still gave everything you had.
Be the Solution, Not the Problem: Instead of complaining about low turnout, utilize it to brainstorm ways to bring more people. Instead of moaning about the sound system, learn how to work with what you’ve got.
The Long Game
Your local music scene is smaller than you think and has a longer memory than you’d like. Venues talk to each other. Bands remember how you treated them. Fans notice which artists genuinely care about the community versus those who show up, play their set, and disappear.
I’ve watched Victim bands struggle for years in the same scene, often just changing their name and hoping nobody remembers their reputation (spoiler: everyone remembers). Meanwhile, Victor bands become local legends practically overnight because they figured out that music success is about serving others.
The Bottom Line
Next time you’re faced with a disappointing gig, a technical disaster, or another night in a half-empty room, ask yourself: “Am I being a victim or a victor right now?”.
That simple mindset shift might not solve all your life’s problems, but it could transform your entire music experience – and turn you into one of those bands or musicians everyone actually wants to work with.
Talent might get you noticed, but attitude determines if folks want to engage with you. Rock on.