Tis the season to be …. Depressed?

Written by Judy Rodman

“We know that there are some for whom music is so compelling and innately powerful, they are unable to contain it within themselves. They can no more separate themselves from music as they could their own limb.” – Musicians and the link to mental illness

Tis the season to be …. Depressed? Unfortunately for many this is true.

Being highly creative is a double edged sword. Gifted musicians are prone to periods of depression and the real “blues”. In fact, from my experience and observations, I would suggest that many if not most musicians go through a low period of life that they barely survive. The good news is with insight comes power. Becoming aware of depression is the first step towards being able to change it.

DO NOT IGNORE CLINICAL DEPRESSION.
It can become a soul abscess, robbing you of the joy of your music… and of your life. If you think you could have it, get professional help, and don’t wait one more day to do it.

Triggers of Depression in Musicians

Trigger 1: A high in your musical career.
Strange but true, just on the other side of a significant accomplishment in our musical career (our “baby” is metaphorically finally born) , we can experience a plunge in state of mind. I refer to it as artistic “post partum depression“.

Typical scenarios:

• A cd project you’ve been working very hard on is finally finished, to your great satisfaction. The following day you feel strangely let down, tired and even sad.
• You win a talent award you’ve been deeply hoping for that will launch your career to another plateau. Soon after you wonder why you are feeling so down and scared.
• You get a deal… on a label, with a publishing company, with a booking agency. You celebrate, then feel empty.
• You conquer a difficult vocal issue such as chronic tension in your voice. You are elated at your voice lesson, but soon after become afraid that you can’t really do that consistently. It becomes a self-fullfilled prophecy when your voice assumes the old nasty habits next time you sing. You feel like giving up.

How can you deal with a high-low cycle?

Know what it is. Just recognizing a post-high low can keep you from being afraid of it, and can take it’s power away to hurt you. It’s like a coat hanging on a coat-hook that looks like a monster in the dark… if you know it’s a coat, even though the lights are out you stop being afraid of it. You can even use the lows to rest, reflect, pray and get back to the source of your strength and get ready for what you’ll do next. Choose to see low is just a temporary balancing so the highs don’t burn you out!

Trigger 2: Too Much Sensory Input/ Too Little Self Care

Too much to do, too many people to be around, too many promotional events and phone calls, too many things happening at once, too many people talking, too tooo toooooo much! You find yourself on edge, unsatisfied, unhappy no matter what is “going right” and you don’t understand it.

This happens a lot to highly creative people. Many times artists fall into the trap of substance abuse just to find some peace. Here’s a better way… find some S P A C E! Silence and space can be restoring and healing. You don’t have to have money for a big sabbatical, just tell everyone you’re taking a break for an evening, day or week and then DO IT. Turn off phone, tv, limit talking, just chill. Ways I do this include my morning meditations and prayer, walks in the woods, time sitting on my deck outside, walks on any ocean shore.

Also, make sure you are attending to your physical needs… especially getting enough healthy food. This is one of the most overlooked causes of depression. Malnourishment, dehydration, toxic food/drink/drugs, lack of sleep and exercise, – all these things mess with your brain chemistry.

Trigger 3: Bitterness and Resentment

OK, if you say you have not fallen victim to these twin mindsets, you are lying, friend… or you are not from this planet! (I, by the way, am also from Earth) And those who don’t admit their imperfect attitudes are in the most peril of all… because a stuffed resentment can fester and even create more internal havoc than a confessed one. For instance:

• You notice someone’s career moving faster than yours. (And there’s always someone…)
• Someone else wins an award you were competing for. (Competition monster strikes again.)
• You think someone has stolen your gig. (A big nasty trigger… especially if it’s true.)
• Someone diss’ed you (critiqued or assessed your performance negatively).
• You got hurt by an unfair music business reality or decision. (Radio won’t play you anymore, the label folds, your point man left the organization, the venue gypped you, your songs/music/production are not chosen for ___ project).
• You hate yourself for your mistakes, failures and inabilities. This is a big contributor to depression, which is also defined as anger turned inwards.
• There are so many reasons a musician lets bitterness and resentment take hold because we as artists are often fragile. This can turn into the end game… unforgiveness, which is truly a happiness, joy and peace killer.

We MUST turn these thoughts around, and the sooner the better. It helps to have a sane circle of friends to who we can be accountable, so we can say “I am having trouble letting this go. I admit it and I want to stop it.” You may have heard the phrase “The first step to getting out of a hole is to stop digging”. If this friend will help you STOP DIGGING THE HOLE of resentment deeper, but will instead agree with you that you need to forgive, forget, let go, wish the person well… and get your mind on your gratitude list… that’s the talk you need to have. 

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