I wrote this article because I’ve been seeing a trend. One time is an anomaly, two times is a coincidence, three times is a trend. In the last 10 bands / shows I’ve seen, more than half were displaying the trend I speak of. Many of these bands seem completely unaware it’s happening, or perhaps worse, they’ve stopped caring altogether. What am I talking about? The drive or otherwise, the flame. That essential fire that makes each gig matter – the energy that acknowledges the significance of every venue and every audience you perform for.
I’ve worked with bands across genres for over three decades, I’ve witnessed countless groups rise with passion and purpose, only to eventually find themselves going through the motions.
That electric connection that once sparked between bandmates becomes routine. The stage that once felt like home becomes just another workplace. The music that once flowed from genuine creative passion becomes a product to deliver.
If this sounds like your band, you’re far from alone. That evolution from passion to profession is a path well-traveled by virtually every group that’s stayed together long enough. It’s human nature to settle into the comfortable rhythm of “good enough,” gradually forgetting the spark that once made your performances exceptional.
When I watch these bands that once commanded every stage in the region now sleepwalking through frankly forgettable performances, I find myself questioning what extinguished their fire? How did these formerly magnetic artists transform into folks merely fulfilling an obligation to get paid? At what point did they decide it was acceptable to phone in their sets or, even worse, attempt to wing songs they haven’t bothered to learn? The disconnect between what these musicians were capable of and what they now deliver isn’t just disappointing— it’s killing their opportunities and brand, if they ever had one.
The Inevitable Plateau
Most bands begin with a honeymoon phase. Everything feels new and exciting – the first rehearsals, the first gigs, the first recording sessions. You’re discovering your sound together, building something from nothing. The possibilities seem endless.
But inevitably, familiarity sets in. Songs that once brought goosebumps become muscle memory. Venues that once intimidated are now just another gig. The bandmate who once seemed like a musical genius now has predictable tendencies you could map out in your sleep. You don’t need to rehearse because you know all the songs…etc.
Although some of that sounds pretty good and feels comfortable, without conscious effort, it can morph into complacency. Signs include:
- Minimal rehearsal beyond running through the set
- Decreased experimentation with new material
- Conversations centered on logistics rather than creative vision
- Performance quality becoming “good enough” rather than exceptional
- Internal eye-rolls when someone suggests trying something new
- Members not replying to your group chat
The FOBO Trap:
One particularly damaging mindset that emerges during this plateau is what psychologists call FOBO – Fear of Better Options. Unlike its cousin FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), which drives impulsive decisions, FOBO paralyzes with indecision and divided attention.
In a band context, FOBO manifests when members mentally keep one foot out the door. They commit half-heartedly to the current project while constantly scanning the horizon for potentially “better” opportunities – more lucrative gigs, more prestigious bands, more compatible collaborators.
The signs of FOBO in your band might include:
- Members consistently unavailable for certain opportunities but mysteriously available for others
- Decreased investment in long-term planning or growth
- Side projects gradually receiving more attention than the main band
- Conversations about the future becoming vague and non-committal
- Calling themselves a “hired gun”
What makes FOBO particularly insidious is its self-fulfilling nature. When members withhold their full creative energy and commitment due to uncertainty about the band’s future, they inadvertently create exactly the stagnant environment they fear being trapped in. The band becomes less exciting, less fulfilling, which further justifies their wandering focus – a destructive cycle.
The Comparison Trap
Another mindset which can extinguish your band’s creative fire is through unhealthy comparison with other groups. Whether that is talent, song choices, or even money made, I’ve seen talented musicians spend more time watching what other bands do than focus on their own band. What could have started as inspiration quickly becomes toxic when it transforms into a measuring stick for your own worth. I’ve seen bands ruin themselves putting a value on themselves based on what others may be making.
The fundamental truth: every band you see on stage represents a unique combination of personalities, priorities, resources, time commitments, and artistic visions. What works for them simply cannot be directly transferred to your situation and even if it could, people may not respond the same. The band playing flawless three-part harmonies might have dedicated their lives to their craft and vocals, whereas the members of your band do it for beer. The group with the massive local following might have spent years building relationships before you ever saw them.
Healthy bands generally recognize that their only meaningful competition is with their previous selves. Did tonight’s show feel more connected than the last show? Is the new material working for the audience? It’s said “Competition happens and the bottom and collaboration at the top”, I believe it. The successful bands I know are all collaborators that set goals and carve their own paths.
Breaking Through the Plateau
Revitalizing a band is doable! But, it requires honest communication, transparency, and intentional action. Here are some ideas:
Have a cookout. Sometimes the best way to reconnect musically is to temporarily step away from the music and eat like kings. A weekend away from instruments, focused on rebuilding personal connections and clarifying shared goals, can reignite the human foundation that makes music meaningful.
- Revisit your past. Reminisce about what brought you together and what excited you initially. Often, the seeds of your initial connection contain the nutrients needed for renewed growth.
- Directly address FOBO. Have an honest conversation about everyone’s level of commitment and expectations. Maybe you are the control freak that has higher expectations than the rest of the band which is causing folks to look for better opportunity?
- Seek external perspective. Bring in a mentor or even fans to provide feedback. Outside perspectives can illuminate both strengths you’ve taken for granted and opportunities for growth you’ve overlooked.
- Listen to each other. Consider playing that pop song that the bass player wants to do. You might find that it’s the song that puts your band back on the map.
Remember that passion isn’t just something you feel – it’s something you practice. The most enduring musical partnerships aren’t those that never experience plateaus, but those who recognize the plateau as part of the journey and deliberately choose to climb the next peak together.
The stage doesn’t have to be “just another gig.” Your fans deserve more than a phoned-in performance, and venues are actively seeking artists who bring genuine enthusiasm and professionalism to their spaces.